drowning in a fairy tale

"In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person u desire. Anything else is fantasy. "

A toast to those wise enough to understand that sometimes love is nothing more than the foolishness of childhood.

~Excerpt from "by the river piedra i sat down & wept"--- Paulo Coelho

in a daze

Today's the first day of sch for all the secondary and primary sch kids out there... Haha. And here I am slacking away at home. One more month of holiday for me! Envious? Heh. Got to go give tuition later though.

Just woke up at 12+pm today, feeling like i just had a very long dream. The things that happened yesterday. It just doesn't seem real, somehow. I'm a little scared, confused and happy at the same time. Yea, funny, isn't it? How people can feel a whole lot of emotions at one go?

I thank God for all these that's happening and commit all things unto His loving hands.

It's a test of faith, really. I'll keep praying and trust that God will make a way.

back from camp

Back from camp. Camp was really tiring... Spending time out in the sun and taking care of the 17 kids in my group. *phew* Just glad to be home, catching up on sleep. Hee.

Kayaking during camp was fun, though the water was supper murky. eeks.

Camp was a time to get to know fellow instructors better as well (besides, getting to know the kids). Great people like jeff, pheobe, keen, ying shuo, ivy, nicholas and wynn. Lots of other pple too, including the bosses----> Kian Ann, Jones (aka Papa Jones) and Kenneth. Went to Mac's for lunch after the camp ended.

Watched "a lot like love" today. Wasn't as nice as i expected. :(

"Love actually" is still my fav romantic film.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Isaiah 40: 28-31

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can
fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

seek and u shall find

Haven't been updating my blog for quite some time now.

A couple of things have been bugging my mind these days and i can't seem to stop thinking abt it. Christian brothers and sisters, thanks for the prayers and encouragement. I've been praying and seeking God for directions too. Lifting up my troubles to Him for He cares for me. :)

Watched 'Batman begins' yesterday morning with Jamie. The show's great (the starting's a bit slow, though). Bought a black top from bod bodynits at 50% discount. Been eyeing that top for a long time already. Couldn't stop smiling after that. Hee. Went for tuition in the afternoon followed by jc class outing at parkway. Hmm, let's see... a total of 6 pple turned up for the outing (including myself)! haha. And, I'm the only girl. Hmpff. And u know, all that guys my age talk abt when they gather, is army life, army life, army life. -_-''' Pple who turned up were: harun (the organiser), kunal, lap, wesley, fad and me. Yea, they look more or less the same. No drastic changes, haha. (i don't know what kunal's dress sense used to be like. Yesterday he was wearing a t-shirt that says "I like girls" in front.) Harun got into medicine. So, will be seeing him ard in sch when sch starts. Dr syed, eh? haha.

Will be going away for a pri 5 adventure camp from monday to wednesday. Shit. I've forgotten how to pitch a tent. Not very sure how to do belaying too. Better go revise my instructor manual. Oops.

Look at the star. Look how it shines for you.

I spent yesterday doing nothing.

But I'm glad.

I'm glad I spent it with you.

it's been 2 years since u went away

I remember green was her favourite colour.

I remember she was a vegetarian.

I remember her explaining biology to me.

I remember doing chemistry mindmap together with her outside language lab in vj.

I remember her writing my name in japanese for me on econs lecture notes.

I remember how she used to tell me she hated econs and she wished she could drop it like me.

I remember she was supposed to sit at our table during prom.

I remember rushing down from church camp to the school office when i heard about the urgent class meeting.

I remember breaking down in front of Mrs Chan when she told me the news.

I remember how the whole class did up something for her. Writing our messages on tiny pieces of paper.

I remember going for counselling with a few of 02S1E people.

I remember the pain, the anger, the guilt.

I remember crying everyday for almost 2 weeks.

It's been 2 years now. 2 years.

"I looked at the flowers that i bought for you today. They were white with green and yellow middles. I think they're pretty, but i wish i didn't have to buy them. Because, that'll mean u're still here with us."

my buddy's off to serve the nation tmr

Was out with zen just now. Walked around town and took lots and lots of pictures. My buddy's going off to serve the nation tmr. Boohoo. I'll miss u, MAN! *private joke* haha.

Got a piece of bad news earlier on in the day from mum. Uncle's down with lung cancer. Sigh. The harmful effects of smoking. He's been smoking for, erm, 40 over years now?! Granduncle was down with lung cancer too and he was smoking all the way to his deathbed.

"Since i'm going to die regardless of whether i smoke or not. Why quit smoking?" <---- granduncle's take on smoking when he learnt of his illness.

I'm having a terrible, terrible headache. Going to take my shower now and head off to bed.

Good night.

missing u dearly

The taxi had arrived to pick us to the railway station for our train heading back to Singpapore.

"Byea jiao jiao dui ah po shu ah,"ah po said to me in hainanese, as i stood in the front porch, waiting for the rest to get ready. (It means " (you) must come back to grandma's house often, ok? ")

"Orh," I was quick to reply, as i picked up my luggage and headed off toward the cab. I was eager to get back home. Back to the comforts of an urban citystate.

I went back again barely 2 weeks after she said that.

This time, for ah po's funeral.