reflections

Today's the last day of 2004... Time flies, doesn't it? Another yr has passed me by...

2004 has been quite an eventful year for me. A great part of this year was spent working after the A's. First, at chutney cafe... den it was at franko style and after that, IRAS. A whole new environment awaited me at NUS. Meeting new friends, lecturers... getting used to the pace and lifestyle of being a uni student. And of cos, taking up a new hobby ---- dancing.

Had a bbq at east coast yesterday with pple from synergy. It was fun, especially the last part when we played with sparklers n took photos. I enjoyed walking along the beach, taking in the night air and singing songs with ailian, shirley and fiona--- new found friends who share the same interest in dance.

Friends have and perhaps, always will, play an important role in my life... and as 2004 come to an end and 2005 approaches, we've added yet another year to our friendship. Cheers!

happiness

HAPPINESS
From You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown
(Clark Gesner)

Happiness is finding a pencil.
Sleeping in moon light.
Telling the time.
Happiness is learning to whistle.
Tying your shoe For the very first time.
Happiness is playing the drum
In your own school band.
And happiness is walking hand in hand.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.
Knowing a secret.
Climbing a tree.
Happiness is five different crayons.
Catching a firefly.
Setting him free.
And happiness is being alone every now and then.
And happiness is coming home again.

Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

Happiness is having a sister.
Sharing a sandwich.
Getting along.
Happiness is singing together
When day is through,
And happiness is those who sing with you.

Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

This is the song that kel's using for his dance "playgound". I absolutely love it. Brings a smile to my face each time i hear the song... Thinking about all the happy things that i did as a child. :)

post christmas blues

Christmas is over! Woke up this morning feeling slightly disappointed... The magical feeling of christmas left me overnight. It's back to the normal days again... Oh, exam results are out today. Just checked my results. Did ok. No As, though. But i'm quite glad. Really. =)

merry christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!!!!

officially 19

Just got home not long ago.

Went to huijing's place for a stayover last night. Sining, el, yiling, pauline and of cos, huijing were there. Kit sprained her ankles that's why she couldn't make it and yingzhao is still away in east timor. Ate chicken pie that huijing's parents got for us (our surprise supper!) *yummy* and the nougets that el got from aust. Watched vcds--- "coyote ugly", "someone like u" and "shrek2" till abt 5am and we chatted in huijing's room. Didn't fall asleep till about 7am when yiling left. The girls sprang a surprise on me after the first movie. Some went to the toilet and came out into the living room with a cake! Hee. Was abt 1+ am... they wanted to do it at midnight but we all were too engrossed watching the movie. A super rich chocolate cake from prima deli. Made a wish before i blew out the candles... but i shan't tell u all what i wished for. =P

Went home at ard 1pm. Had a quick shower and met zen. Passed him his xmas card n present-- a piece of chewy fudgy brownie from the brownie factory. Had coffee at tcc near centrept and walked to ps where i was supposed to meet the girls for dinner. Dinner spoilt my day. Waited for 1 and 1/2 hrs for my dinner to come... Secret recipe at PS. Argh. Super pissed. Went to complain twice to the manager. Nevertheless, i have to say that the irish lamb stew was gd... After dinner, took a walk back to orchard with the girls before we headed for home. Took some photos along the way. Ade, xinyi, shiyun weren't there though. Wish u girls were here...

Birthday smses that i received...

Hey happy birthday! How do the first few mins of being 19 feel? Have an enjoyable 24 hrs ahead k? KR 12:01:08am 23/12/04

happy birthday huiping! Hope u have a wonderful birthday. Am i the first? :P Cindy 12:02:08am 23/12/04

HAPPY NINETEENTH MY DEAR! :) *muacks Twin 12:04:08am 23/12/04

i wanted to give u something really really special.. but i ran into a problem. how do u wrap a bday hug? happy birthday! Shunmei 12:04:18am 23/12/04

yo! happy birthday! enjoy ur day ya? all the best in e coming yr... Guochang 12:28:09am 23/12/04

hey happy birthday my dear girl hee see ya later.. Liyun 01:57:50am 23/12/04

happy 19th bday, cow! finally no longer underage...lol... haf lotsa fun 2day yea... tk care... Addy 07:39:59am 23/12/04

happy birthday moo moo! hope to meet up real soon to celebrate ur bday tgt. n may u always be cheery, e way u are. love u as who u r in my life. tc girlie!!! Ting 08:30:34am 23/12/04

Dear cousie happy birthday! May u enjoy this day like nv b4 have a merry christmas too! God bless ya! Elinna 08:39:19am 23/12/04

happy birthday Aunt Carol 09:02:49am 23/12/04

dear hweeping... happy 19th bdae n merry christmas. enjoy ur day ;) Farah 09:37:45am 23/12/04

yoz DARLING!! haha.. At last grown one yr older liao huh? wait for very long hor? Haha... Happy b blessed 19th 'butt'day! lalala... Dorcas 01:42:47pm 23/12/04

Hey there. How u doing? By the way, wanna wish u happy birthday. Hope all turns out well for u. Tariq 02:42:57pm 23/12/04

Hey gurl! happy birthday! enjoy a great 19th bdae! Jiahui 03:02:24pm 23/12/04

Hey happy birthday to ya! best wishes... Emelyne 03:04:45pm 23/12/04

Happy birthday girl! wishing u happiness always. Smile! =) Ade 05:00:41pm 23/12/04

hey hey hey how could i 4get? today is my dearest msn, sms n icq buddy birdday. Wilfred 05:29:06pm 23/12/04

happy bdae to u, happy bdae to u, happy bdae to youuu, happy bday to u! hehe may all ur hopes n wishes come true! Jamie 08:30:34pm 23/12/04

happy bday! enjoy ur day k. Zen 08:38:00pm 23/12/04

hey! happy birthday! and have a merry merry christmas n a happy happy new yr! hope ur hols have been great.. see u soon! Meijiuan 08:54:35pm 23/12/04

happy bday! did i make it in time? haha. Zen 11:59:54pm 23/12/04

and a better-late-than-never sms...

Happy birthday to u, happy birthday to u, happy birthday to huiping, happy birthday to u! may u be happy always! Junming 12:23:01am 24/12/04

Thanks pple! U've made me one happy, smiley 19 yr old girl. *grinz*

i tried. i really tried.

dancing is soooooo stressful... argh. Just got back from sch at midnight. Was in the dance studio since 5.30pm today... Went there earlier to learn the steps for peter's items. Am i slow or am i slow? I can't seem to catch any of his routines. Hand-leg coordination problem. *grr* I just can't seem to get my hands and feet where they're supposed to be. Imagine this: everybody's dancing, moving gracefully across the floor, and there's this girl who stopped halfway as she was moving across the floor cos she couldn't figure out whether it's the left leg or right leg that's suppsoed to be in front... Misses a step and couldn't catch up with the rest of the steps cos the music's going too fast. Well, at least peter was encouraging. He said that he could see i really tried. Bleahz.

Tried out a bit of kel's 2nd dance item entitled "playground". I pretty much enjoyed what we did for that one. A very light hearted piece. After that, did more polishing on gillian's piece. Gosh. There was this part which i kept doing over and over again with the seniors. Cos they think i looked funny... Even though my steps were right. I need to focus! F-O-C-U-S! FOCUS!

My feet looks disgusting. The skin on the bottom of both my big toes are peeling off. All thanks to the last dance practice where we kept doing all the spins and turns. And, u guessed it right. I was dancing barefooted. I brought my socks today for dance. Thankfully.

Maybe i just ain't cut out for dance. With practice, i hope things'll improve. They must. It can't get any worse.

running

Just got back from a run. I always feel good after a run. Always. The sense of satisfaction after a long run... Sweat pouring down my face, dripping off me... forming little puddles on the floor as i do my streching. I think i'm addicted to running, just like some pple are addicted to smoking or drugs. The adrenaline pumping in my body, working all the frustration and stress out of my body, the breathlessness of it, the pain to a certain extent. I don't know. There seems to be some kind of symbolism in running. It's like running away from the problems... leaving them all behind. Sprinting towards something better.

I miss my training days in vj. I miss going for long runs with the msisters. I miss doing long runs at east coast... 8k, 10k or even 12k. I miss the times el and i sat at bedok jetty, staring out into the sea. I miss sitting on the breakwaters with sining, looking at the waves crashing into the breakwater... chatting and reflecting upon our lives.

Haven't ran with dad for quite a long time. Wanted to go run with him yesterday but i was too tired after being out the whole day. We used to race each other at the last stretch of the road to see who reaches the finishing point first. Sometimes, he wins and sometimes, i.

There's dance practice again tonight. Mr Fan will be coming down to dance theatre today. I volunteered myself for peter's opening piece and kelvin's piece for the feb performance. Though, i don't really fancy jazz (that's for peter's piece)... Well, i shall just give it a shot.

Perhaps, i'll go run tmr with dad. Tonight will be too exhausting. Perhaps.

unwanted. unloved.

He loved her. Not anymore.

'Goodbye,' he said to the flower.
But she did not answer him.
'Goodbye,' he said again.
The flower coughed. But it was not because she had a cold.
'I've been silly,' she whispered at last. 'Please forgive me. Try to be happy.'
He was surprised by the absence of reproaches. He just stood there, quite bewildered, with the dome poised in mid-air. He did not understand this quiet sweetness.
'Of course, I love you,' the flower said to him. 'If you were not aware of it, it was my fault. That is not important. But u have been just as foolish. Try to be happy... Leave that dome alone. I don't want it any longer.'
'But the wind...'
'My cold is not that bad... The cool night air will do me good. I am a flower.'
'But what about the animals..'
'I shall have to put up with a few caterpillars if i want to see butterflies. I understand they are very beautiful. Otherwise, who will ever call upon me? You will be far away. As to large animals, I am not afraid of them. I have my claws.' And as naive as ever, she showed her four thorns. Then she added: 'Don't hang about so, it's irritating. You have decided to leave, so leave.'
For she didn't want him to see her crying. She was a very proud flower...

The Little Prince ~Antoine de Saint-exupery~

yawnz

I'm back! Back from synergy dance camp, that is. The 4 days, 3 nights camp in sch had been a fulfilling one. Learnt quite a bit from it. All the different kinds of dances like hip-hop, chacha, salsa, jazz and a few modern dance pieces. Got 5 bruises on my knees and 1 on my lower back too from the camp. *ouch* and my body is aching all over from all the conditioning every morning led by peter.

Going to sch tmr morning to help huiyu with the dance costumes. Hmm, doing a bit of sewing here and there, i think. Oh, let me do a bit of publicity here in my blog! Synergy will be putting up a performance in LT 13, NUS on 16th n17th feb. Admission is free for all! So, do come and give us your support if u're free on that day... :)

Met up with the hamlet sisters last night at addy's bbq. It's nice to meet up again... Laughing and chatting under the night sky. Miss u girls lots. Esp. yiting n eve who are now away in cambodia for YEP. Haha. Can't wait to get my "I Love Cambodia" t-shirt!!! :P

Alrite, I'm going to bed already. Really tired from all the past few days' activities. Good night!

rain, rain, go away

I'm starting to miss you.



Just got back home not long ago from Sentosa. Hmm, OG outing... and guess how many pple from my OG turned up? 4!!!!!! (including me!) Quite pathetic, eh? No lah... Daniel called a few more pple down... A few of his army frens and a number of nus pple.

It's been raining the whole day. Drizzling, that is... *raindrops keep falling on my head~* ok, I should learn to count my blessings. Thank god there's no thunderstorm? Heh. But i think everyone had fun playing beach volleyball, frisbee and kayaking... Oops, i just discovered a cut on the bottom of my foot... Must have cut it at the beach... Argh, and i'm going to get bruises from all that beach volleyball. *ouch* But i would say today's a day well spent at Sentosa... I wanna go there again (when the sun is out?) !!!!!! Sentosa, anyone?

familiarity n nostalgia

Went to the market today with mum n sis cos i needed to get a pair of tights for dance camp. Oh, and i need to get heels too, those with back strap. The recommended height for heels is 2 1/2 inches! *oops* I think i might have some difficulty walking in them, and i'm expected to dance in those shoes???!!! Right. Hmm, the last time i went to the market was when i went to get flowers for michelle and the time before that... *scratches head* I don't even remember when.

I used to enjoy going to the market with my dad, doing grocery shopping, when i was a kid. Looking at all the different kinds of vegetables and fish, taking in the scene as the buyers and sellers haggle over the prices. But, slowly, as the years pass by, that fascination seems to fade with time, or perhaps, i've just outgrown it.

Oh, and the little garden near my place. My ah gong used to go there every evening, with his friends, sitting at the benches, enjoying the evening breeze and chatting away in dialect---henghua. I still remember those times when i'd come home late from shopping with mum n sis... we'll always pass by the benches where my ah gong and his friends sat. Usually, he'll be sitting there with his back facing me. So, me and my sis would, at the count of 3, shout "gong gong!" and then laugh with glee as all the ah peks turn and look at us, wondering who exactly we're calling. That little garden is no longer there now... Those old benches where my ah gong and his friends used to sit, the pebbled walkway... They had to give way to newer things. Upgrading. Hmm, sometimes, i prefer things being the way they are.

I've lived in this neighbourhood my whole life. This place holds so much memories for me. Sweet, happy memories. Ah, home sweet home.

holiday mood

Woke up today feeling sore and aching all over... from squash yesterday. Bleahz. Got a pretty big blister on my right thumb too... Hmm, i always seem to get blisters after playing squash. Think i never grip the racket correctly. Despite my aching muscles, i went for a 6k run today at East Coast with zs. That cheaterbug!!!* grrr* I was in front of him all the way throughout the run until he decided to sprint for the last stretch of the road, so he could reach the finishing pt before me... and appear to be in the lead throughout the run... which is soooooo NOT TRUE! Had a nice chat with Mr Tan outside the pe dept. Oh, his triplet will be turning 1 mth old in 5 days! i wanna see them!!!!!!!! :)

I wanted to eat the char kway teow at the hawker centre near parkway after the run but the stall wasn't open... so i settled for nasi lemak instead. Char kway teow n nasi lemak??? Haha. I couldn't care less abt the calories. Pple say i need the fats, anyway. *evil laughter*

Waiting for my uncle's email for more updates on the vacation next yr. I can't wait for that day to arrive!!! Woohoo~ Tentatively, i'll be leaving Singapore on 28th may and returning somewhere in july. But nothing's confirmed yet. So there.

I've been out everyday since the exams ended. And there are more activities to come in the following days. Going to sentosa next tues with my OG pple! Volans!!!!! *thinks of banana cheer* wahhaha. Dance camp on the 8th to 11th. Quite looking forward to that. Learning new dances for next yr's performace... and attending lessons on jazz and ballroom dancing as well, i think. Addy's bbq on 11th n a wedding dinner to attend on the 12th. Oh, and i must find a day to make me n jiahui's sports day plan become a reality.

Oooooo... they just played my favourite christmas song on the radio!


I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is
You... yeah yeah

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
(and I) Don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
(and I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click'
Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You baby

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere (so brightly yeah)
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing (oh yeah)
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You (You) baby

All I want for Christmas is you baby... (repeat)

i was a child all over again

today's quite an eventful day... watched a children's play at DBS arts centre entitled "Rumpelstiltskin", went to snow city and had a wonderful buffet-style dinner after that all for FREE! haha. All thanks to DBS. Heh. Was there with the sunday school kids. Was supposed to be there taking care of the kids... The boys are soooo cheeky... a bunch of monkeys, i would say, but they're so cute! Kids, hmm,they seem to think that boys/girls that stand next to each other are boyfriends/girlfriends. Caleb was standing next to me when Kenneth asked if we had a bf/gf relationship... *rolls eyes* Being gd buddies, we decided to play along with the kids--- pretending we're bf/gf. After a while, Joshua came and stood beside me... Tada! i've got myself a new boyfriend (who's 13 yrs old, btw) -_-'''

met zen after he knocked off since i was so near the science centre... went to jurong library to borrow some books... after which, we set off for home. Started on one of the books. Think it's quite a good one. "Mad elaine" by Helen Stevenson. Let me type out an excerpt from the book which i found was particularly lovely.

"all the other bits of you

We all want to get into each other's lives, somehow. We all want to be other people as well as being ourselves. That's why people read and write. I've worked that out, sitting at my desk in the library all these years. I'm not knocking it. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I just think people don't realize that it's a sort of deep-seated human longing to be everyone else at the same time as yourself. I mean, not in the sense that you want to be the girl behind the check-out at Tesco's, or the meat counter, even worse, but that u want to be able to get outside ur skin and fish in other people's hearts and minds, and feel their breath in your throat, the way it chills the back of ur passages and reminds u of all the other bits of u, and run ur finger down the little crack in their hearts sometimes. It's like seeing everything from the inside. I wanted to be Martin seeing me, and me seeing Martin all at once."

a black-haired girl, still...

El and sining helped me dye my hair yesterday... and my hair still looks BLACK! It was supposed to be a reddish brown colour which can only be seen upon close inspection. Erm, very close and careful inspection of my hair, i mean. =P Went over to one of sining's friend's room to play mahjong and she mentioned that they helped dye my hair just now. One of her friends said "Oh, so what was her original hair colour? Blonde?" ... ...

Stayed up till 4+am in the morning and decided to take a nap since El had to leave ntu by 8am to attend some course back in nus. All of us set our alarms on our handphones but didn't manage to wake up on time! Haha. El woke up just in time to catch a cab back to nus. I continued sleeping till abt noon before i packed up to go home.

Saw adeline on my way to BoonLay mrt from ntu. My first 3 mths classmate back during the nj days! Gee. Told her that i just dyed my hair and she went "Huh?!" haha. Perhaps i should try a lighter shade next time... Blonde? Heh. ;)